Logan's Revenge
by TurnUpTheBassAndTreble
Summary: 'He spared a quick glance at James and when he saw that he was asleep, he smiled. He had finally come up with his revenge.'  James will soon learn not to mess with Logan.  No slash!  Just friendship and hilarity.


**Logan's Revenge**

**A/N: This was a random idea that popped into my head quite a while ago. I never had any motivation to write it, though. Until now! I don't think it came out quite as I had hoped, but I still hope that it's not too horrible.**

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Logan couldn't help but think this was a bad idea. He was, after all, the more practical one of the group. He had his wild side, but he was starting to think that he _really _needed to get new friends. _'I'm probably going to end up arrested because of these morons one day.' _He shook his head as he glanced at his best friends. What was going on? Kendall and Carlos were trying to get James drunk. Turns out that Buddha Bob kept a stash of liquor in the janitor's closet, and one day while Carlos was hiding from Mr. Bitters, he stumbled across it. After the coast was clear, Carlos immediately burst from his hiding place and went to tell his friends about it. Logan told him to leave it alone and gave him a lecture about underage drinking, Kendall was all for taking some of it so they could let loose and have fun, and James said something or the other about alcohol being bad for your pores. Needless to say, Kendall and Carlos took a bottle of vodka and were now trying to force drinks down James' throat.

"Come on, James! Go ahead and have a drink! It won't kill you!"

Carlos held out a red solo cup to James which was filled with vodka and some sort of soda. James eyed the cup warily and looked back into his compact mirror. "I already told you I don't feel like it, Carlos. Why won't you just leave me alone?"

Carlos pouted and looked at Kendall who shrugged and took a sip out of his own cup. Logan had no idea why they wanted James to drink, but all he knew is that he was going to stay out of it. He peered over his book to see Carlos once again offering the red cup to James.

"Why aren't you pestering Logan? He's not drinking either."

All three boys then turned to Logan, who was still reading. He folded down the corner of the page he was reading, and then closed his book. "Underage drinking is against the law and too much alcohol can really damage your liver."

"I'm not surprised. As usual, Logan's being a stick in the mud", James muttered while fussing with his hair. Logan narrowed his eyes and glared at James.

"Excuse me? Last time I checked you weren't drinking either, so who are you to criticize me?" James immediately sat up straight and locked eyes with Logan.

Kendall and Carlos looked at each other before turning their gazes to the two feuding boys.

"You never do anything fun! You just sit there and spew off facts and shake your head while the rest of us actually do interesting things!" James' body was tense and it looked like he was trying to melt off Logan's head with his eyes. Logan threw his arms up into the air and let out an angry huff.

"Just because I'm cautious and actually care about what could happen to us doesn't mean that I'm not fun! You still have no right to say anything because, like I pointed out before, **you **aren't drinking either!"

Fed up with the argument, James immediately stood up, marched over to Carlos, and held out his hand. Carlos looked up at him with confusion in his eyes before realizing what he wanted. Carlos picked up the spare red cup and handed it to James. As soon as it was in James' hands, he took a big gulp. Sending another glare Logan's way, he plopped down next to Carlos and continuously took angry sips. Carlos scooted away from James because he definitely didn't want his anger directed towards him. Kendall rolled his eyes and took a long sip from his own drink.

'_This is going to be a long night.'_

_**~ONE HOUR LATER~**_

Things had gotten considerably more interesting over the past hour. James was incredibly drunk, Carlos was almost as far gone as James, Kendall was pretty damn tipsy, and after much persuasion Logan had even had a drink or two himself. James and Carlos were playing patty cake while Kendall and Logan were sprawled across the couch. After James accidentally smacked himself in the face, he and Carlos dissolved into giggles.

"Kendall, if your Mom saw us right now she would not be pleased." Logan took a sip from his cup and Kendall nodded before drinking from his own.

"Yeah, I know. Good thing her and Katie are gone for the day. I definitely enjoy not being in ass loads of trouble."

Logan nodded solemnly before gazing up at the ceiling. _'I'm still kind of miffed at James for what happened earlier. But what could I do to get him back?'_ While Logan was pondering his revenge on James, Carlos had wandered off into Katie's room. After a few minutes of rummaging, he came running into the living room with a box in his hands.

"Wassat?" James slurred while pointing to the aforementioned box.

"It's got stickers and glittery things and I don't actually know why I took it out of her room, but let's look through it!" Carlos tossed the lid behind his head before sifting through the box's contents. James was interested for a few seconds before he decided that being sprawled out on the floor was a better use of his time. Kendall and Logan rolled off of the couch and sat across from Carlos, both mildly interested in what could be in the box. As far as they knew, girls kept really weird things hidden in their rooms. Unfortunately, nothing _too _interesting was encased in the box; just some stickers and stick-on tattoos. After seeing a particularly girly and glittery tattoo, Logan had an idea. He spared a quick glance at James and when he saw that he was asleep, he smiled. He had finally come up with his revenge.

"Guys, I've got a great idea."

Carlos and Kendall looked up to see a devious smile on Logan's face. They've only seen that look on his face a few times, but it always meant something interesting was to come.

"What idea have you hatched, Sir Logan?"

Logan raised his eyebrow at Kendall's choice in nickname. He grabbed what had caught his eye out of the box and held it up for Kendall and Carlos to see.

"I say that we stick this tattoo somewhere on James."

"That's not really that devious, Logan. I was kind of hoping for something a little more evil." Kendall looked at Logan incredulously while Carlos fell over in laughter. Logan shook his head before letting out a quick, dark laugh.

"That's where you're wrong, Kendall. These aren't any ordinary stick-on tattoos, my friend." Logan waved it in front of Kendall's face. "They last quite a bit longer than other ones. Just take a look at the back." Kendall plucked the tattoo from Logan's fingers and read over the instructions. When he found the part where it stated how long the tattoo lasted, his eyes widened.

"Holy shit! This is actually more devious than I originally thought. Kudos, Logie."

Logan beamed at Kendall before taking the tattoo out of his hands. "I figured we could either stick it on his face or somewhere embarrassing."

"I don't know if we should put it on his face, Logieeee. James would probably kill us all in our sleep."

"Carlos makes a good point, Logan. But where should we put it?"

Kendall and Logan tapped their chins in thought while Carlos was struck with an idea.

"WE SHOULD PUT IT ON HIS BUTT!"

Logan and Kendall burst out into laughter at Carlos' suggestion. They're quite lucky James is a deep sleeper or else he most definitely would have been stirred by their loud, shrieking laughter. Logan wiped a tear from his eye before patting Carlos on the back. "That's a great idea, bud. There's only one issue. Who's going to put it on him?"

Carlos was thinking of some way to decide who'd do it – like rock, paper, and scissors – while Kendall and Logan locked eyes. They both knew what the other was thinking.

"NOSE GOES!"*

They immediately put their pointer fingers on the tips of their noses while Carlos looked at them in bewilderment. "That's so not fair, you guys! I wasn't ready!" Carlos pouted while Kendall and Logan smirked in victory.

"You need to be quicker, Carlitos! You've always got to be prepared when it comes to nose goes. That's just how it is!" Logan nodded at Kendall's statement while still laughing at the pouting Carlos.

Accepting his defeat, Carlos got up and shuffled his way into the kitchen to get a wet dish rag. When he came back to the living room, James' pants were already down and he noticed that Kendall couldn't keep the smirk off of his face. Carlos snatched the tattoo from Logan's hand and stared at the back. _'It's going to last that long? Logan you are a sneaky, sneaky dude.' _Carlos quickly grabbed the top of James' boxers and yanked them down his legs. He carefully peeled the plastic front off of the tattoo and placed it right in the middle of James' left butt cheek. He smoothed it down quickly before setting the damp rag on top of it and letting the water soak into it. He looked over at Kendall and Logan who looked like they were going to pee their pants. Carlos flipped them the bird and after a minute, he picked up the rag and peeled the soaked paper off of James. Kendall and Logan got up to get a better look, and once they saw it, they burst out into more laughter. Carlos couldn't keep his giggles in any longer and laughed with them. Once the tattoo and James' skin had ample time to dry, Carlos gently pulled up his boxers and pants and then stepped away from the sleeping boy.

"I really hope James likes glittery unicorns, because if he doesn't, he's going to be very unhappy when he looks in the mirror after his next shower", Kendall squeaked out in-between peals of laughter.

Carlos quickly composed himself before yawning and heading off to his and James' room. "I'm going to bed. James can stay out here because I don't feel like hauling his heavy ass into our room. Goodnight, guys." Carlos waved at them before disappearing behind his bedroom door. Kendall and Logan said their goodnights to him before going to their own room. Kendall did a belly flop onto his bed while Logan fell back onto his own, still laughing.

Kendall rolled over to face Logan and couldn't help but smile. "Do you think that we should tell James how long this tattoo is going to last?"

Logan shook his head and the biggest grin appeared on his face.

"He'll just have to go without knowing. I have a feeling that this next month and a half is going to be very interesting, though."

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***Nose goes – I don't know how many other people know about this, but it's a game. Trying to explain it in my own words isn't working, so here's a definition from urban dictionary. ****_A quick observation game typically played to determine who will be the person to either go first or commit to an action all together. The last person not touching their nose is essentially "it". _**

**So, yeah. There it is! I hope you guys liked it. c: You should totally review this, because reviews make me super duper happy. _In my pants. _Tee hee. **


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